she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
