i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
