I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
