yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
