Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
