Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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