Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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