walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
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I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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