I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
