When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
