Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
