Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
