i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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