It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize