He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Im part way to drunk.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
