you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
