Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize