i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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