No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
