Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I will pee on everything he values.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
