You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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