I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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