She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
