You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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