how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
