My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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