Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How does it feel to date your dad?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
