I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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