The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
