I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
