you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
