I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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