After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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