Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
