Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
