Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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