The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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