Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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