Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
