At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
