I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He felt like a one man threesome
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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