3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize