What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize