So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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