Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize