She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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