Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
