now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
