hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
