i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
