guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
