i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
