I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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