You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
