Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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