I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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