Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
