He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
