you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
stop calling my apartment porn island.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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