I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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