a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
