went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
