Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
