im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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